NEON ATTACK.

Stayover

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Guess I'll do a quick post here. My eyes are stinging the hell out of me. Friday, had a stayover for one night at Ritz-Carlton. It was cool/fun. Too formal though. Not accustomed to those guards and staff bringing you here and there. Their service is good, no doubt but not my cup of tea though. It good till it gets uncomfortable to live with. But well, i had great fun in there. It was something like a Christmas party and birthday party for my maternal grandma. haha...we always had this...cos her birthday falls on 1st of Jan. haha. the whole stay, I still loved the presents part. My goodness, those presents i received, it made this Christmas so far, the best one ever. Every single present i received was something i really loved and needed..well..not exactly though. But just hankered for it to come into my hands one day. I dreamnt of having those. Never did it cross my mind that they'll actually be mine! Hmm...maybe I'll share what I got. Nothing with very flowerly and elaborate. They're practical stuff. My mum gave me a necklace with Jesus's cross studded with diamonds on it. Have been begging them to get one for me for ages, but I didnt think they would give in to all my whims all these times and even remember what I liked. Cos honestly, they don;t really bother. They care about studies, period. So that necklace means a lot more than..just a necklace although i don't think it costs a bomb. Then, my aunt gave me the 10 movie GV privilages card. wow. that was wayy cool. haha. How thoughtful. I thought no one would encourage or even acknowledge my love for films and movies. What more give me free tickets. wow. haha. I love that.haha. Been building up a list of movie listings to watch! My Uncle's gift was a noticeboard. haha.. thanks! How usefull...my rooms' been very messy during school days with all the tests and exams and this and that thing and paper notices...haha..cool. and i woud then be able to add extra stuff to the board...and its none other than duh...things that will ecourage me!..Deary dear Rui En love. Still been over the moon over my presents. A little add on to those would be a pleasant and soothing CD my aunt bought for me. It's Olivia Ong's CD. Her songs are soothing to the soul. Crystal clear. She's the one who sand the Little Nyonya theme song..but sadly that song's not inside the album.

Now looking forward to Christmas Party with paternal side. Much better. Quieter and more relaxed. Just talking. Simple, yet great. As well as the countdown! Rui En again! missed seeing her.

Labels: christmas, stayover

Book

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Just managed to finish reading " When Rainbows End " by Cecelia Ahern a couple of days ago. Thought it was quite moving though. The last part. Where Alex and Rosie finally got to be with each other after 50 years of fate trying to pry them apart. One thing i like about Ahern's books is the simple words she uses to express. Its easily digestible, although sometimes a little long-winded. But well, its kinda good cos I can read it fast. Took about a week and a half to complete the book.

Besides reading, have been busy with homework and damn it, I havent finish it yet! The worst is Chinese. There are tons of work for Chinese and its just eating into my precious time that could be used to do other better things than CHINESE! Good lord, I still have 2 Chinese essays to complete, as well as a letter writing. As for Geog, I havent started it. Same goes for Lit too. I'm doomed man! Lit. Thinking about the 21 thesis statements that have to be done. Yucks. I don't like the book I'm studying at all. Thank goodness I have already finished my English, E Math and A Math homework. It was quite a breeze doing them though. Except for a few unanswered Math questions.

This morning I just watched the movie " Love Actually " and it was quite ok. Not something i would recoemmed people to watch. But the ending was gorgeous. Lovely. All about love. Quite fun to watch. I love romance and romantic comedies no doubt. Right now, I'm really anticipating for " Doubt " , " Australia" and " Changeling " to make its debut here. Read the movie reviews of these movies. Thought it was worth watching. Felt that these movies had substance in their plot. Also, i can't watch for " Revolutionary Road " to start screening! The first ever movie Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet are working together after Titanic which was a phenomenal success, grossing 1.8 Billion in ticket sales worldwide. Dicaprio as well as Winslet are just great actors. They perfom whatever role thrown to them with ease. Both have incredible ability to work around their charactors and bring about excptional quality of performance. Their emotions, expressed in such a raw manner, always keeps us on the edge of our seat, wanting to grieve with them and also, share their joys and tribulations in whichever movie.

Just finished an essay for English tuition. It was titled " A Fun Holiday " sounds pretty easy, and there is a vast amount of things to write about. I used Twilight's charactor's names Bella and Edward. But the plot is none like Twilight's. My fun holiday was in the Maldives. Going snorkelling and beach-combing. Goodness, how I adore the whole process of writing it. Its like you are actually in the Maldives, experiencing the dream holiday. I'd love to go there.

Twilight

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Today was filled with unexpected surprises all through the day. I'll start with morning. Well i thought I would be yet again waking up to another day of homework to complete before nightfall. But Boom. First surprise. Dad sent me an sms early in the morning before going to work. " Rui En's story on today's Life section" wow. It hit me. I've always been wanting The Monday Interview to feature her. Just hoping and hoping every week. At last! It was such a honest and sincere interview. She spilled about her troubled childhood, how she struggled against the odds to what she became today. An actress-singer who dosen't give a damn what people think and JUST BE HERSELF. Yes. people will say...i'm also being myself wat. But come on. In that industry, easier said than done. Do you know how much courage you have to garner to do that? To just stand for what you are, to not follow that whole masquerade. Its something I have loved and admired about her. To not want fame, money and that status but do it for the sole reason of wanting to entertain people. I don't know how to explain this but, i just feel that she have this very cool thing about her. Not some nonchalance. But some preternatural coolness that draws me more and more. Come on. How many can do that? The Monday Interview, where she lay her unglamorous past spread for all to critic. I hope through this sacrifice she made, people would begin to try and understand her better rather than just put her into the category of ice.

Had managed to finish a Chinese test paper and letter writing. Damn tough man. I didnt even get WTH the passage was supposed to mean. But oh wells. Have to stop complaining and procrastinating. Tmr, have to finish another paper and letter. its seriously shit man! i absolutely detest chinese!

And then went for the preview of Twilight. Which was actually the highlight of my day. Have to thank Amanda! Thanks a lot for inviting me! It was a private screening she won from Channel 5 that Christmas contest or something... I love the room. Like a GV Gold class cinema. The seat was just the next comfortable thing to my bed. And also so big! Most of all, the movie! How hot Edward was. My heart melted. Twilight. Really it was such an awesome movie. Something to be given superlatives for. The most epic romance, next closest thing to Titanic. Its been years since I've seen such an unprecedented movie. Something that left me with an inkling feeling inside me after the show.The part where Bella and Edward was at the prom, just after getting out of the car,...walking..wow..just like an evening promenade. Well actually the part where Bella just pushed him away so forcefully..goodness..that was unexpected. At first I thought Edward was a bit wierd at the beginning but it was just a while. I just love that he has this propensity in him to protect Bella. That's just an apotheosis of what unconditional love and pure love could bring a person to do. Awesome/Gorgeous. hahha...This was hilarious, after watching the movie, we went out and haha..the Twilight poster was just ubiquitous. HAhah...outside the Shaw Centre where we previewed the movie, at Lido, Outside the Building..haha..I was literally devoured with this utter sense of well-being after the movie. It made my so very boring day!

And home i went, hoping to catch a wink before getting up tmr to do homework. Went online first to catch up on RBKD stuff. and another BOOM came. Wow i seriously didnt expect it. Rui En has a new show! Great! wow. Totally unexpected.for the past few years, she only had one show a year or at the most, 2. But my goodness... first it was By My Side, then now filming The Dreamcatchers and then without a break, will continue to start filming My School Daze. wow. Within a span of 6 months. 3 shows. Goodness. I can't take it. hahah. Seriously. its actually good that its at the first few months of the year. cos if not..i won't be able to watch. Major exams on the way.. well...i hope she takes care of herself. Don't fall ill again. Have a loong way to go...shows after shows...add oil! add oil!

Now i think its time for me to hit the sacks...cos tomorrow i have to hit the books in earnest. Sigh. How i wish i could just exude this inner power in me to keep me strong through this very shitty period of life. And my feet are still aching from just now. Argh. the boots. It hurts. Guess its too small...gotta get a new one.

Labels: LP, Movies

#19

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I guess this news have already disseminated to the walls of Parliment! ahah. But still, i have to spill. After 2 weeks of trying in vain to put her song up on the charts, at last! This week! Its up! yes! oh wells, although its 19, but still, its an improvement, ain't it?ha. All those ppl who helped me vote..thanks! When 慢舞 song started to play on 933, my heart started beating at breakneck speed! haha I was literally whopping inside me.. running down that hillside at supersonic speed, screaming all the joy and laughter i hoped my lungs had managed.. Ravishing with joy.

Wow. Just realised. Rui En's 穿反song is my iTunes playlist's highest playcount song at 84! wooow. haha.. I really didnt think i kept looping that song so much. Its only been about 3 weeks and her songs are like familiar sounds of music i hear everyday..actually..almost everyday..

Its December and I've (thank goodness) started my holiday homework. Have already plan my schedule to complete it. At the moment, I'm trying to built up the momentum of studying, starting with a few hours and then gradually increase to the whole day. I won't want a repeat of this year, where i felt rather melancholic most of the time, not knowing what went wrong, and how i could improve. This time, I'll be fiesty!

Labels: feelings, happenings, LP

Last play day

Monday, December 1, 2008

Alright. Its now December. haha since its 4 plus in the morning. I seriously can't get a wink when I tried to. Instead, it gave me a headache trying to force myself to sleep!

I told myself way in advance to only start studying/revising & doing homework in December. How time really flies. It was the last play day I had yesterday. Its now all down to mugging for "O"s. I've actually been subconsciously looking forward to this day. Kinda missed studying, though i can't believe i actually do.

Now, what do I have to cut down on? Lots. I'll definitely be going online much lesser now, perhaps only thrice a week? ya. And goodness, this one is darn tough. I have to stop listening to 共和国 so frequently. I'll have to only hear it when i go online, i guess, cos i can't listen to music and study. I must not be tempted. Well, these take up most of my time, so it'll be it for now. Also, i won't be blogging so often now.

Parents do play a big role in the upbringing of their children right? If only there was a fixed way to bring kids up... I dunno if I should be blogging about this. I ain't a person who blogs about their innermost feelings. I guess, this would be a stepping stone? Haha. All these years, I've been bottling it up inside the very deep and usually untapped corner of my heart. Favouritism. Biased. Comparison. Competition. Which of these have you not experienced before? Of course everyone has got a taste of whats it like. But only everywhere outside your home right? Not me. Yes, I have been a victim in school, in class, but never did i see it ever coming to my home. The pain is heartwrenching, its choking but I'm not able to spit it out cos its happening to me, from the people with the closest blood relation I have. From family. I know, not every child is born smart, is hardworking. But aren't parents supposed to encourage and acknowledge every child they have be it smart or not? Each child has their own weakness and strengh. They're different individuals. You can't compare them with each other. Yes, I've done many run-of-the-mill things which, is no fight for the things my other siblings could do. Why must you compare me with siblings? I know I'm not what you would like me to be, but i do have a voice to speak for myself, a brain to think for myself. I'm entitled to my options and my life that i'll like to lead. Can't you just encourage me to be the best of what I can be and not use siblings as a guage? You really don't know how much this hurts my self-esteem. Stop putting me down and saying " you're the worst of the three of you. Think you're really better than them? Prove it! Can't? Don't talk! "

Perhaps this was just some passing remarks you made, but no, you emphasised it to me too many times to be just a remark. I don't think I'll prove you wrong, but i'll prove myself wrong. I'll just go ahead with my goal in mind, study hard and achieve it with much gusto of which, is unheard of to you. I don't care how good my siblings' are. You have already poked a hole in my heart, but I'm not going to give up that easily. At least i have relatives support even if i dun have yours. That corner in my heart has been the centre of your critics. It still hurts whenever tampered with. You have succeeded in rubbing at my wound. I won't deny. That dark/shadowed part has and will always stay with me. There's no medicine to heal it. But I now come out stronger than i'd ever imagine. I still won't change who i used to be. I'm still me. But you still and will never know my dark side. You had a glance but not the feel. I'm now more emotionally stronger than you knew i ever was.

Too bad you can't cut open my heart to see the invisible contents inside. I won't let you. I don't want you too. Thats why i had shut up. This is the only place i'll rant it all out. Comparing thats all you care. With whoever you can compare, you do with me. You didn't know it has such adverse effects, do you? You didn't know i'll suffer, having my confidence dipping right to a negative right? But well, it ain't that bad either. I'm getting stronger, not weaker.

Labels: victim